★ ★ ★ T E R R I T O R Y M A R S H A L ★ ★ ★
WANTED
✦ DEAD OR ALIVE ✦
REWARD FOR CAPTURE
$ 100,000
"HEX" THE MOISTURE BANDIT
Wanted for: cattle-rustling cryptography, unauthorized SUDO, DDoS conspiracy, TLS forgery
SEEN AROUND: PORT 8080BY ORDER OF THE SHERIFF